It's only fun until somebody's crying

Peggy called when she got my letter. So did Maura. So did 8 other single parents in town. The article is due in a month. Ask me if I've written a word yet. But I've canvassed for single parents. At least I've done that.

"I just don't know what I could contribute that would be positive," Peggy tells me. Her husband died from cancer in March, and you can hear it in her voice. Heavy, slow. Maybe it's just too soon for her, I think, but you don't create your subjects: they show up with their own bag and they decide if it's time to open it. "The only good thing is that my kids get to go to these great schools. But I'm constantly worried about money. And nobody ever invites me anywhere because they don't want a single at a doubles function."

Maura, too, lost her husband to cancer in January. She's more enthusiastic about talking, but has no time to do it. "I work full time, and take the kids to after-school activities, and more activities on Saturday, and on Sunday I run errands." They both want the lives their kids had before their husbands died. I can't even imagine trying to pull that off. Peggy and Maura didn't choose this. Neither did the divorcees who make up the rest of the responders. I did. That's our big difference--not money, not family. I love my family life; it feels complete. But they lost a critical organ.

Paula's a vet down the road, and I got Sidney from her a few years ago. When I met her she was pretty big. Next time I saw her she was small and drawn. She'd had The Surgery; you see that look a lot around here, where normal-sized women move in and two years later they're size 0. (Present company excluded.) I think Paula's gay, but she doesn't say so. She went to a sperm bank to grow her daughter, and so she's a definite by-choicer. But she won't talk about it.

Steve calls this morning. Single dads! "Thanks for the great letter," he booms, on the highway, top down. I found him listed as a single parent in the school directory. "But I'm still married," he booms.

Come out, come out, wherever you are.