But for sexual preference...

I'd date Mary Grace. She's funny, upbeat--a little controlling, you can tell, but then she's burying dead, presiding over sacred unions, dispensing the word of God on a weekly basis and maybe that can go to a chick's head. She was the first woman priest in the diocese of Chicago, and came here in 2002 with two kids from China. She doesn't date, anyway. "I've tried--even on e-harmony--but, well, I think my profession can be..." "Offputting?" "A tad."

She has a built-in community in her parishioners, who dote on her kids and adore her. Her beautiful old house on a beautiful old road is the rent-free church rectory, which is why, I imagine, she can afford the two vehicles in her garage--a Saab, and some honking SUV. "I'm paid very well by clerical standards," she admits, "but by local standards, it's tough." I keep thinking about Patty. Hard not to compare assessments of tough. Hard to know how to avoid comparisons in the article. Comparisons will make somebody feel bad.

Carol, earlier in the day, sat with me at her kitchen table. I kept noticing the curtains--these flowing gold and green and red cotton panels, Pottery Barnish stuff. The place smelled like Pottery Barn: candles burning somewhere, maybe. Flat-screen TVs. Overstuffed furniture. Carol has three kids. She's the sunny one, remember? Now I know why she's sunny, and it's not the sex. Carol's ex-husband is a bond trader on Wall Street, and pays her a whopping alimony and child support, and so Carol hasn't had to work for the last six years and has no intention of working in the forseeable future. A Hispanic woman comes in three times a week--"She's like family," Carol smiles--and I realize I can't get out of my own way with this woman. She talks about her divorce in catastrophic terms, and it's hard for me to see it. She's quick with advice for other single moms. "It's really all about attitude," she tells me. "I come from a long line of strong women. I really don't get the whole martyr thing that some women do."

My sister, put down the cappuccino and show me the love.

Mary Grace tells me that if somebody is considering becoming a single parent and asks her advice, she tells them this: "Make sure you've got a strong community of support. Everything else will follow. And take your vitamins." Cute. OK.

Not to minimize attitude, community, vitamins. But a free house and a fat alimony award--that's a hell of a circle of incidentals, don't you think?