Friday, October 07, 2005

The Good Wife's Guide, or, Thank God for Gloria


Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day need may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

Gather up schoolbooks, clothes, toys, etc., and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first--remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late, or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

Don't complain if he's home late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he may have gone through that day.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

A good wife always knows her place.

Housekeeping Monthly, 13 May 1955

14 Comments:

Blogger WarriorM said...

I had a friend that emailed this article to me and I laughed and laughed!!

Not that the sentiment was funny, it was disturbing. I laughed because of how far from that model I am. Thank God I live with a modern man because I have a brother-in-law who is just that backwards and it makes me CRAZY!!!!

11:39 AM  
Blogger nancy =) said...

this is exactly what sent my mother over the edge way back when...

and no where do they mention to make sure your apron has pockets so you can store your little nips of vodka and bottle of valium...

1:20 PM  
Blogger RED QUILT MAKER said...

No wonder I never could keep a husband.
If only I had read this back in 1955 when I was 13.

Kiss the babies.

RQM

4:11 PM  
Blogger Dr. Deb said...

I recall seeing this from time to time, and having the same reaction.

ARRRRrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhh.

5:45 PM  
Blogger taza said...

C'mon, Inger, Halloween isn't for another few weeks!
:)
Yeah, it's actually amazing, the progress we've made since then. Even though we have a ways to go, the choices that have been available to me, might have precluded my birth if my mom had been able to be both a wife and career woman.
Alas, it was one OR the other in those days. You married your man (and kids and home), OR your job.
Mutually exclusive categories....

7:35 PM  
Blogger sttropezbutler said...

If women had been paid a viable wage for doing what this article suggests...what the world would be like today?

Not that I am suggesting that any person treat another person this way because of some suggested reality about roles. It just would have been interesting if men had had to pay women for the amazing work they were "supposed" to perform.

Anyway Inger...Have a super weekend! You're the BEST!

STB

8:03 AM  
Blogger Motherhood is Here said...

That is wayyyyy tooo funny, and yet not funny at all. Actually when I was reading it I thought that it was a spoof that you had written and I was like, "this is the kind of stuff that gets us crucified.." Little did I know that it was real. Is it reaL? Seriously, was it a spoof? Or was that a real article back then?? That is way crazy. Anna

2:39 PM  
Blogger mckait said...

ACKKK!!!sg

7:23 AM  
Blogger mckait said...

Just reading that makes y blood boil!
heheh... one just never knows what they will find in Ingerland...

How ya doin' ?

Not too much going on for me.. have not heard from Borders.. disappointing .. but I am going to call tomorrow..

Today is my kids call day.. so I am looking forward to my morning.

I have been planning to make some pumpkin scones this morning.. but i think this article has put me off a bit!

:P

take care and I hope today offers you some magic.. ( bet it will!)

7:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is awesome. vintage cheese from a scary day.

11:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isn't that a crock of shit...

How about I'm on my period darling, come rub my feet and legs and fetch me my Motrin, while I lay on this heating pad.
There's some left over chicken noodle soup in the fridge and don't forget to put that load of laundry in...

8:57 PM  
Blogger www.kimmy.cc said...

This explains why I am living in my own apartment right now!

9:40 PM  
Blogger AKH said...

Now I know why I'm still single!

LOL

I can't believe that they used to publish crap like this. It's a good thing, we've come a long way.

1:53 AM  
Blogger phosda said...

nancy,

as jacqueline suzanne knew, one should always be discreet about mother's little helpers unless and until all holy hell breaks loose and you, god forbid, begin demanding things.

however, i would like to know what it says about me that i do take immense personal satisafction from comforting not only my husband but everybody who will have me? not a slutty wife, exactly, but a wifely slut, perhaps.

4:33 PM  

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